


The Worst In Us.

by Zee_Seal



Category: Fantrolls Fandom, Homestuck, Homestuck Fantrolls - Fandom, Original Troll Character (Homestuck)
Genre: Bad End AU, F/M, Favorite Fishes Doing The Worst, This is just some sadstuck I wrote, non-canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 06:55:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18544573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zee_Seal/pseuds/Zee_Seal
Summary: Speak in anger, and give the greatest speech you will ever regret.





	The Worst In Us.

"...Then I ask you to never talk to me again."

Those words made her eyes snap up to him. He was so caught up in his own delusions that he seriously believed that low-bloods would attack fish with out cause? How fucking arrogant, and oh so fucking high and mighty. Gritting her teeth, she keeps her temper, as she levels her nearly filled eyes onto him. For a moment, he swore he saw red in those eyes of hers, but he stood his ground, head held up proudly. He wasn't going to back down from an equal.

"Fine then. Our friendship is officially fucking over, Aurico. Good fucking bye. Enjoy your life as a fucking Imperial slave."

The fact she said that actually made his brows go up, having not expected it- he expected her to angrily retaliate with something else, anything else, really. The anger in her eyes could melt the ice caps. With that she turns, flipping him off as she walks away. He doesn't follow her, his own temper rearing it's ugly head. He was keeping it together for Athena's sake. She was lucky he adored the older Owlich or else Hecate might actually have ended up dead by his hand right then and there at the time.

"Drop fucking dead, you Empire Peon." Is the last thing he hears her say, before she disappears out of his view, into the night. That's the last he saw of her, as well. He didn't care. If she wanted to be stuck in her rebel ways, mingling with the castes that would kill her for her fins, then she could suffer the consequences. He had wiped his hands clean of her filth. Good riddance. If that was how she wanted to be, then so fucking be it, he had more important matters to attend to, like cleaning Alternia up of the filth she was so eager to protect. 

Nataio doesn't know of her fate until months later, when Athena tells him that Hecate ran off to another recruiter and joined the Imperial Service behind her back. The news made him laugh, a harsh and cold noise. She would die in the fleet. She didn't have what it took to survive there. She would perish for her ideals alone, and the fact she could not keep her tongue in check. He felt sorry for Athena, dealing with such a problem descendant. As petty as the thought was, he was sorely glad Athena favored him over her own blood. It would at least her someone who would not disappoint her.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's several very long sweeps later, when he hears of her once again, and her exploits in the military. He had gone through the brutality of dealing with Auricone, losing his horns, his eye, and his arms in the process. His time in the infirmary had been a blur, but during that time, he swore he saw some one who looked like Hecate leave from checking in on him once. 

Though he brushed it off as a fevered delusion, possibly from the pain. However, if that was the case, he wondered why he would picture Hecate of all trolls near him in his time of recovery. Yes, he missed her presence from time to time, despite how their friendship had ended, but he was sure he held no other feelings for her besides contempt, scorn even. Other times, he felt as if he had lost something valuable, and the weight on his heart would become unbearable, to the point he felt psychically pained.

It had been a long time since he had taken the title of Second Admiral, when rumour of her achievements had reached his ears. He couldn't help the ghost of a smirk on his face. 

They called her "The Wild-Fire." Such a fitting name for her. She had an inferno raging inside of her, one she had quite a hard time controlling, if he recalled their youth correctly. 

Always angry, and always trying to go toe to toe with those bigger than her. Still her same old self. He idly wondered if she was so driven because she was trying to prove herself. Could be the case. She always felt like she was never good enough, but so did he, they had shared that boat well as children. Their shared fear of being failures or never amounting to anything. 

Their fears would never be reality now, for sure. 

During times he let his mind wander, he quietly cursed his younger self for his ways and the fact he had just let her walk away like that, like such a fool. Now as an adult, he understood what Cate was trying to convey. He saw the corruption of the Empire's fleet. His ancestor was one of those disgusting leeches who had sullied the Fleet's good name, and his bloodline's name. 

There wasn't much he could do to fix his past mistakes, so he decided to not dwell on it, at least not actively. From time to time, however, he would ask Athena about Hecate. He had learned the younger Owlich did the same, asking of him in return. Somewhere, deep down, he felt something stir in him at knowing she thought of him from time to time as he did her. He wondered if those feelings had always been there, buried under his anger in how she chose to depart from their friendship.

However, it was his surprise when he was invited to a formal event of officers, and found she was there as well. He had noted her presence the moment he had strode in, stopping in his tracks when his eyes landed on her. Despite the fact her hair had been cropped short, and her horns were gone, he knew her any where. Her fins had seen better days, and so had her face, for she sported battles scars he was sure she did not have on planet. When she looked up, their eyes locked, and time froze for a split second as they stared, the air becoming filled with an almost electrical feel. The feelings the pair of them had quietly harbored for each other for sweeps came out in that single glance.

It was in that moment Nataio Aurico felt his heart skip a beat. Even with the wear and tear of the military, and her eyes having gone dark with cynicism, he saw the faintest flash of the girl he had known back then, the very fire that had earned her the title she now carried. She hadn't changed, she was still a fighter. No doubt that loud mouth, brash, and un-apologetically quirky woman, as well, was still there under all those scars. He wished he could say the same for himself.

However, from where Hecate stood, she an empty man, cynical, and broken. There was nothing left of the boy she had loved back on Alternia. That boy was gone, long since dead and buried. Her own heart sunk, quietly mourning the loss of "what could have been" between them. Time had surely not been kind to either of them. Even less kind to him, considering she had seen the damages for herself when he had been in the infirmary. Not that she would admit she had snuck over to see him, still worried about him sweeps later after their friendship broke off. She refused to acknowledge him, or the feelings she still harbored for him.

Just as when they were adolescents, there was the faintest of sparks between them, and he almost felt the urge to approach her, to talk, apologize, ask to start over-

But as quickly as their eyes locked, she was quick to snap her attention away, focusing on another officer. The quiet rejection stung, but he kept his face impassive as ever. Moving on, he also mingled, quietly chit chatting here and there, occasionally glancing her way. He caught her glancing back as well from time to time. It was painfully obvious the pair of them wished to talk. It takes Hecate excusing herself to go and smoke away from the others, for Nataio to work up the courage to follow her, to make as if he's also going to go smoke. Not that he did, it was just a convenient cover excuse. It was now or never, and he did not have the time to waste over anxiety.

She was busy lighting her cigarette when he moved to stand besides her. 

The quiet "click" and inhale as she finally got her nicotine stick lit is the only acknowledgement he gets from her. Hecate doesn't spare him a glance, as she takes a long, an slow drag from her cig, exhaling the smoke through her nose. She seemed displeased to see him there, but in all honesty, she was having a quiet panic attack. She felt her heart race speed up when he got near, and for a moment, she felt afraid. Afraid of what he was going to say. Afraid what talking to him would bring out in herself. She had long since buried all of her emotions. She had no quadrants, she had no lovers. She had closed herself off. After her heart break as a child, when their friendship had shattered, she had decided it was just to much of a chore, trying to deal with emotions and others. It was just easier to be cold.

"Hecate." He starts, using her name by habitual default.

"Commander Owlich." She says, her tone of voice sharp, and cutting. She wasn't going to let him address her so plainly, as if they were still friends. She was doing everything to scare him off. Her bristles were up, and her face was impassive- bordering dismissive, as he spoke.

"Forgive me, Commander Owlich. Force of habit. We were-" 

He wasn't going to give up, if anything, Nataio Aurico was a stubborn man, and he had all the time in the world. He could deal with her attitude. He dealt with it when they were young, he could deal with it now. It was just a different flavor of Hecate's attitude, is all.

"Friends once. Yes. I recall that dark part of our childhood. I also vividly recall you telling me to "never speak to you again." As well as ending our friendship." She cuts in, snapping her eyes up to him, the yellows looking orange for a moment. However, she's quick to look back off to the side, and continue with her smoke break. 

"Yes, that did happen, Commander Owlich. However, I was hoping..." 

He pauses, unsure of how to say he wished to try again. He missed her, he wouldn't admit it, but it had been many a long day staring at the ceiling and thinking about her, and her scathing words. His anger had stayed with him, but he had remained hurt. He hated admitting he missed his best friend. Admitting he was wrong, about a lot of things, and that he wanted to apologize, for all of it. For his youthful mistakes, and the fact he never went to look for her. He also wanted the aching feeling in his chest, that he got whenever he looked at her, to stop. In all, he just truly, earnestly, wanted his friendship back. 

"Hoping for what, Admiral Aurico? To reconcile? You are delusional if you think I would even consider-"

"Hecate, please, I am trying to apologize." Nataio says, cutting her off, looking down at her with an expression that was rather sad. She can't help the pang she feels, but she sticks to her guns. Butting her cigarette, she turns to him, head held up high and proud. 

He can feel the fear of rejection.

"Your attempt at an apology is accepted."

"Thank you-"

"We are still not friends, however."

"But-" He starts, only to get cut off by her holding up her hand. His heart sunk, but he kept quiet, letting her speak her mind, slightly afraid, but more so curious as to what she had to say.

"A friendship between us would fail on a spectacular level. I am not going to let you sully either of our names by attempting to stoke the old flames we had between us. Your apology is accepted, but I would advise you to leave it at that, Admiral, and cease your delusional attempts while you are ahead."

"Hecate..." 

Nataio felt his heart drop, and for a moment, he felt a lump in his throat. Even though she was dying on the inside as she said that, she knew it wouldn't be good for either of them to be friends any more. They made their beds, as the saying went. It would cause distractions, and unneeded revival of old feelings. Things that were better left buried, and forgotten, between the pair of them. Those feelings were meant to be memories now, and nothing more. It just wasn't practical to put themselves through that torture again.

With that, she gives him a stiff nod, bowing slightly, as she excuses herself from his presence. However, before she walks away fully, she turns to look at him over her shoulder, giving him one last look before she leaves. For the briefest moment in a long time, they were the kids they used to be. She looked obviously pained, with tears pricking in her eyes, her heart quietly breaking. Nataio himself, looked crest fallen, as if his heart had just been ripped out shattered on the floor in front of him. His pain was obvious on his face, even though he was attempting to keep his expression neutral.

"I'm sorry, Nataio. Goodbye."

Finally, she moves away, leaving him to stand, drowning in a flurry of emotions. He was glad he was away from prying eyes, as he slowly sank down, and sat on the ground, swallowing back the urge to cry. He had thought...he had hoped...He had truly wished he would have been able to mend this...but it seems it was not what fate had intended...Everything about this situation seemed wrong, yet he could not find it in himself to argue. Of course she wouldn't want to be his friend again. All she saw was a monster when she looked at him. 

He /was/ Auricone's descendant, after all, so what had he truly expected?

He was a pathetic loser who wasn't meant to have friends, or in this case, he was not meant to love any one.

Cate had quietly excused herself from the gathering, leaving to find a quiet place to let the tears run down her face. It hurt. Rejecting him, and turning him away had hurt, and made everything inside of her bubble to the surface. All of the anger, pain and every other emotion she had been carrying for Nataio Aurico and her childhood broken heart, came bubbling to the top. 

However, all she could do, was sit on the ground, holding her legs, and cry softly. He didn't deserve that. He was just a stupid boy who didn't know better, who hadn't known she had been in love with him for sweeps. This was truly her cutting her nose off to spit her face.

She had no one to blame but herself. But, deep down, somewhere in her heart, she was hoping he hurt too. That her words had made him feel the same pain she had carried with her for sweeps. She hoped it hurt him, and cut him just as deep as it had done to her. 

From then on, whenever they encountered each other, it was quiet torture for the pair of them. Trying to remain cool, civil, and disinterested in one another ate at both of their hearts. Nataio himself found no relief from the constant dull throbbing ache he felt in his heart whenever he saw her. He wondered if this is what she had felt when they were young. It had only dawned on him later that her actions spoke less of friendship, and more of something else, something deeper that neither of them would admit to. It took her harsh words for him to realize why he had been so torn up over their friendship break up.

He loved her. It was painfully obvious to him now. He was an idiot, who had lost something before it could have even been.

Just as it caused him pain, it tore Hecate apart mentally. It drove her crazy to be so close to him at times, to the point she almost felt as if she was slowly dying. She wanted to reach out, hold his hand, touch the scars on his face, and tell him how proud she was of him, and how much she adored him and praise him for how far he had come, but she couldn't. With each look they shared, or momentary lapse into their old ways, the knife would twist deeper still into her heart. She couldn't let herself fall back, and she wouldn't give him a false sense of hope. No matter how much she still loved him.

This was just never meant to be.


End file.
